The in-depth study at our studio is another opportunity for us to open up a space for students to step into their own bodies, their own power, the curiosity and humanity that makes up a slice of who they are. Nicole is one student in the training and when I asked students to blog about their experience, her response went something like “I don’t think I have written anything for or about me in the past 20 years”. I think many can relate to that, we do spend a lot of time serving others and serving things outside of ourselves. Not bad, just maybe not in balance. Taking care of yourself is not greedy. Open yourself up to learning more, knowing more, turning your world upside down, un-learning some things. That is what this training is all about. So, thank you Nicole for having the courage to write for us, and share with all!
Nicole’s thoughts on the Embodyoga in-depth study/teacher training…
We finished weekend number four of our teacher training! Every weekend feels better than the last, and every weekend I leave more curious and more open to learning new things.
I have learned in four short weekends that yoga is more then just being on my mat and doing poses, and I am loving this opportunity to learn all that I can. I am excited to take yoga off of my mat, to use it in my everyday life, and who knows, maybe inspire someone else the way I have been.
I went back and forth about committing to the 200 hour training, kind of how I went back and forth about writing an entry for the YU blog! Does anyone care about my thoughts? Pam assured me that it’s a good idea. Before I committed to the training, I kept looking online, to see what I could find about what to expect, and what would I have to do. So who knows, this may help some curious yogi find their journey like I have. I was so torn to dive in, I was afraid I was being selfish at home, leaving on the weekend (it’s only 12 times, ha!), but I was so worried about what my husband and daughter would do without me all day (they are just fine). I was worried about not having enough time, time to do what? I am slowly learning and accepting my yoga is as important as any other thing I do in my life and it’s not selfish. That was just negative self talk that was keeping me in my little box. Everyone else is supportive and excited for me.
This immersion is teaching me to let go a little, let go of some control, trying to control, to just let things happen, and not create a whole story in my head about it. Practicing yoga for me lately means quieting that voice in my head, noticing it, but sometimes telling it to shut up, and to slow down!
The last weekend we met on Saturday, and it was such a warm, sunny, lovely day, we sat outside soaked up some sun, the very hot sun, and we soaked up the words Pam spoke about the Yoga Sutras. I do love the actual yoga poses in class, but I am just eating up the spiritual and philosophical portion of this training. I could listen to it all day long. She spoke about how suffering isn’t always caused by outside forces, but by our own faulty perception of how we think things should be. How we sometimes can’t just enjoy, and just be. How we create our own unhappiness sometimes and that is so true for me. I have noticed how often I will say, I will be happy when the sun is finally out, or I will be happy when it’s Friday or summer or this or that….. It’s always this chase for “happy” and it doesn’t have to be that way.
Mother’s Day fell on the second day of our weekend together, what a way to spend Mothers Day! Yoga all day!?? Yes please! We had our morning recap, another favorite part of the day for me. We talked mantras and chanting, and practiced Surya Namaskar A & B, two of my favorites. And then we took turns guiding the “class”. I never realized how much goes into guiding someone through postures. I suddenly forgot everything I knew, including how to breathe. I was completely out of my comfort zone.
We ended early, and by the time I got home, I felt so tired, almost drained. I felt more exhausted than if I had done a full two hour physical practice! This training is more than physical, and more than reading. It is so much thinking, feeling, reflection, and study of the self that is happening.
Stepping out of my comfort zone, and working on myself is exhausting. But I am excited and thankful and ready to throw myself in heart first!