I am learning that I actually like being in my house. I am a home body. I tend to things, clean and putz, study in my on-line courses, take classes with my on-line teachers, work in my garden and cook food. Part of me wonders if I need to have a studio space but then when I am teaching through Zoom, I realize that there is definitely a separateness that exists in the space that is different from being together in person. Not better even, or worse, just different. I want both. I want the human interaction and the introversion of being in my home familiar space. I want it all.
One of my husband’s favorite sayings is “you can have anything you want, you just can’t have everything.” How true.
Everything is the unfolding of consciousness. Nothing can go wrong. This is what my tantric studies teach me. That’s a pretty tall order. How do you gulp that down? How do you read those words? My guess is you come up against your mental filters of how things should be, how people should think/act/behave/vote/live/love. The suffering created as we scrape up against our own ideas around what and how Everything should be.
“Things are getting worse, there is more violence and suffering” you might say. “There is more of everything” I might reply. That is what I study and learn. There is more of everything, including people! More violence, more suffering, more ignorance, more knowledge, more love, more joy. The Buddha said to stop resisting reality! If you resist reality, you resist change also.
Fall in love with the pattern of the whole. That doesn’t mean I approve of every individual thing, every piece. I recognize the difference in the vibration. I have to acknowledge that it is all possible. If we are to live freely, then all things are possible. I can’t program love, I can’t force peace, there is also free will otherwise we are just robots. We have the capacity to be otherwise. I do not want to give up my capacity to be otherwise.
The whole range has to be possible or none of it is possible. Everything happening is bumping up against our particular ideas about what should be. Yoga, according to the tradition, is a wearing away/removing of those mental filters so that we can just see. We can see what is. Human consciousness has to be free to experience.
I am not studying yoga to change the world, I am studying yoga to change myself. And right now that change includes me getting out of my jammy pants and into my yoga pants so I can go teach a virtual yoga class to students who aren’t even in the same State as I am. You see, anything is possible.